Let Me Be
by To Be A Necessity
Summary: Clare is left to pick up the pieces of her family while Eli has vanished. Clare suffers depression until she meets her all time conflict, which makes her family the least important to her.
1. After

**These are meant to be short, but very valuable to one another.**

**And the writing is supposed to be like this-it's inspired by a novel that I have read recently.**

For once in my life, I felt like I was vacant. Isolated. Unwanted. Never had I felt this way before until _it_ happened.

I attempted to swallow the lump in my throat, weakly failing. Not now. I can't think about it.

I have to be strong for her. My mom. Her all time dreams were to have a perfect family, and I was promising to keep that dream for her. I needed her to be happy.

"Clare." She said, and I returned to staring out the window. I hadn't found my voice yet, but a noise crept up my throat. That was all that managed.

"Clare." She repeated once again, but this time she sounded demanding. Eli used to use that tone with me when I would keep myself isolated from him. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to hold back the tears. If I cry, she'll break down.

"I need you to talk to me." Mom started, making a turn. I shook my head. _I can't explain it right now_, I wanted to say. _You wouldn't understand what I've been through these past few days._

"If you don't talk about it now, then those emotions you bottle up will explode one day." I opened my eyes, unveiling some of my pain as she looked at me.

"You need to talk."

I shook my head again, my frame slightly shaking. Could she tell how much I wished to disappear from this atmosphere-to live a perfect life like in her dreams? Mom sighed loudly; a sign of defeat. _I'm sorry your dream hasn't come true yet. But I can't talk about it. It's too painful._

As we approached the house, she wouldn't look at me. I felt guilty for putting her in the position that she was now in, even though it wasn't really my fault. If the father figure of the family stayed, then we wouldn't have this issue. But now I had to repair my family and move on, which just kept on getting harder.

I expected her to hastily get out of the car, but instead she turned to me. I glanced up at her, obviously confused by her actions.

"I need you to go to a guidance counselor. But you need to talk to her. You are scheduled for tonight, as I know you don't have any plans, and I know that you may not want to go, but it will help. I assure you of it."

The knot in my throat just cut off my air supply as my breath hitched. _It's not going to work._ Instead, I nod. She leaves the automobile slowly, walking to the house with a new emotion-bravery.

I looked wide-eyed at her as she saunters into the house like she was just over a breakup, and had brand new confidence.

I wish I could do that.


	2. Guidance

**Eli and Clare Forever: Glad you liked it!**

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Mrs. Desauve scribbles something onto her clipboard, which looks incomprehensible to me. What on earth would be worth writing down during this? I hadn't said a word.

"So your mother says that you haven't been talking." I nod, shrugging my shoulders. I enjoy how I'm making her frustrated. "And I think that it would be nice if you would talk at least once during this so your parents' money does not go to waste. It is not cheap to talk to a therapist."

_At least not you that is_, I want to say, but I decide not to. It's not worth the time.

"I know what you've been through." Mrs. Desauve tries once again, and I shake my head. There is no way in the world that she understands what I have gone through.

"Just because you've head my mother's interpretations does not mean that they are right." I sneer, happily leaning further back into the chair. Mrs. Desauve raises an eyebrow.

"Now, _Clare_" she retorts my name. "I think that this is why you're acting like this! You've been holding in your emotions for too long!"

I scoff. "You wouldn't be able to help me." I say, my voice sounding desperate. _I want you to help me, but you need to fight for me!_ I want her to be able to read my mind, or do something, so that I don't have to explain it to her. I want her to know the pain that I've gone through, the emotionless days I've had.

I want her to know everything that I've been through this year, but I don't want to tell her.

Mrs. Desauve slowly gives up, and I felt a pang in my chest. I had pushed her away too much for her to not care anymore. I did this on a regular occasion nowadays; making myself isolated from everyone.

"Just let me be." I plead, hoping that she doesn't give up on me.

She looks down at her watch, and her eyes meet mine with anger. "Time's up." She states, getting up from her chair before I have time to think. She opens the door, beckoning for me to leave with her hand expressions.

I walk out of the door to see my mother sitting down, reading one of the magazines that were placed on the table. She smiles warily as she sees me come out.

"How'd it go?" She asked, sounding hopeful.

"Great." I said, smirking slightly.

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**The next chapter (or the chapter after that) will contain why Clare hasn't talked.**

**But what do you think it is?**


End file.
